God Hates Shrimp!
Why are fundamentalists so worked up over gay marriage when there is already a much greater plague of immorality whithin our nation? There are stores in practically every city that encourage and cater to those who would take part in this sinful practice: Eating Shrimp!
Leviticus 11:9-12 says:
9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.
It has been said clearly: "They shall be an abomination to you." While they've been busy protesting the funerals of gay men who have died from AIDS (or in at least one case I remember from violence), there has been a much more prevalent sin in our country. One in 10 people may be gay, but I am sure there is a much higher percentage eating shrimp and lobster.
Well, GodHatesShrimp.com supplies T-Shirts for those of you who want to get out and protest at your local Long John Silvers. I'd suggest planning your protest on a Sunday as church is getting out, so you can catch many of the god-fearing people stopping there for a meal afterwords. Turn them away from their filthy shrimp-eatin' ways!
On a similiar note, I've been wondering: Once "Kenny-boy" Lay is found guilty, will Bush have his hands cut off as the bible tells us should be done?
2 Comments:
Amen, Brother James!
Shrimp eaters be damned, as is the Law of the Lord.
Leviticus sure wrote a lot of silly crap, didn't he? It was probably reactionary for his time, even. And in this time, it's just down-right unapplicable.
It is not just shrimp but *all* shellfish so lobster and crab are out too. Oh and oysters and clams.
The Leviticus sure knew how to take the fun out of things. ;)
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