Top Ten List
from David Letterman last night, as read by Howard Dean

Top Ten Ways I, Howard Dean, Can Turn Things Around


10. "Switch to decaf"

9. "Unveil new slogan: 'Vote for Dean and get one dollar off you next
purchase at Blimpie'"

8. "Marry Rachel on final episode of 'Friends'"

7. "Don't change a thing -- it's going great"

6. "Show a little more skin"

5. "Go on 'American Idol' and give 'em a taste of these pipes"

4. "Start working out and speaking with Austrian accent"

3. "I can't give specifics yet, but it involves Ted Danson"

2. "Fire the staffer who suggested we do this lousy Top Ten list instead of
actually campaigning"

1. "Oh, I don't know -- maybe fewer crazy, redfaced rants"